ABBA, "Happy New Year"

Happy New Year! It's now 2010! But no matter what year it is, let's count our blessings that the '70s will always be around--and they continue to give us fantastic videos like this one:

Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass, "Spanish Flea"

Does it get any cooler than Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass? If it does, I don't want to know about it.

Cake, "No Phone"

In Portland, when it rains, it drizzles--because it always rains here. But when it snows, it pours. And when it pours, phone calls pour into local TV newsrooms with all sorts of information and questions--many of which are filtered through a person like me.

And so I sit here with a beer, happy to temporarily escape the phones, and grateful that I'm home and warm (and not still stuck in the snow!)

Janet Jackson, "Escapade"

The latchkey kid that I was, I had some extra time in the mornings before school to watch MTV. Most mornings were spent watching many of the same videos as the day before, including The B-52s' "Roam" and Tom Petty's "Free Fallin.'" Also in the mix was this gem from Janet Jackson. It makes no more sense now than it did when I was 10, but at least it brings back some good memories:

Badfinger, "Day After Day"

Do you ever feel like songs are following you on the radio? Like, no matter which station you switch it to, it's always on? For some reason, Badfinger's "Day After Day" has been that one for me lately. I suppose I hear other songs pretty frequently--unfortunately, Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama" comes to mind--but I don't mind listening to this one over and over:

Asia, "Heat Of The Moment"

I can appreciate that Asia chooses to illustrate the "heat of the moment" by showing things that are on fire or that are heat-related, including simply the word 'heat.' ¡Muy caliente!

Alvin & The Chipmunks, "Don't Be Late"

In case you haven't heard this song three million times already this season, here you go. Also, now seeing the video, Alvin seems very angry in his request for a hula hoop.

Star Wars Cast, Christmas Special

This is best enjoyed when one is drinking a barrel of heavily-spiked egg nog around a table full of wookies. Happy Holidays!

Karen Carpenter, Christmas Medley

Have a Merry Christmas--especially if it involves playing a flute inside a dryer, singing in an oven, or being hypnotized by a menacing elf-man hiding in a closet!

Mark Gormley, "Little Wings"

This guy is one hot mess. And the intro into the video, where the dissolve turns into a bird: Money. The production value of this is second only to the musical quality... and that's really saying something.

Also, let it be known that Justin's List won't have a few postings for a few days. We're recovering from a near-lethal overdose of Eggnog and Mannheim Steamroller. So thanks for your patience as we make a last-ditch effort to avoid getting a lump of coal in our stocking this year...

Dan Hill, "Can't We Try"

"Can't we try? Please look into my creepy eyes and give me one more chance! The lady in the red dress with the enormous wristlet gave me a glowing intro--and didn't you hear my awesome keyboarding? Ah, come on, girl..."

Alphaville, "Forever Young"

Sit back and let the blue diamond take you places that only Alphaville can: Into a very dramatic and musical futuristic pre-Renaissance child pit that eventually leads to a much brighter diamond.

Thanks to this suggestion from a good college friend, Brody, who works at my childhood classic rock station, 101 the Fox in Kansas City, and whose job allows him to listen to awesome music all day long. With a job like that, you're bound to stay... forever young.

"King Herod's Song" From "Jesus Christ Superstar"

Jesus has a birthday coming up in a few weeks, so I thought a great gift would be one of the stranger scenes in an already odd-and-awesomely-'70s musical about the Birthday Boy himself:

Muse, "Uprising"

Things always seem manageable until giant evil teddy bears start ravaging your city...

Coldplay, "Don't Panic"

This song definitely makes my list of Best First Songs On First Albums. I also have to give the guys credit for releasing their first album, Parachutes, on my 21st birthday.

The Ramblers, "I'm Only A Poor Little Sparrow"

Here's what happens when the children in "Another Brick In the Wall, Part II" eat their meat, get some pudding... then chase it with a couple of dozen Nitrazepam:

Vanilla Ice, "Ice Ice Baby"

Temps have reached their lowest levels in Portland in more than a decade, and the rest of the nation is also experiencing a winter wonderland--so I couldn't think of a more fitting song. Like Vanilla Ice himself, it's dangerously cool right now, so be careful out there. And try to warm yourself up by thinking of taking a stroll on A1A...Beach Front Avenue, rolling in your 5.0, with the "girlies on standby waiting just to say hi," and the like.

P.S. I've met Vanilla Ice and he's a very nice man.

Mr. President, "Coco Jamboo"

Not sure what's happening here, but the guy who shirtlessly starts off the video seems to get a shirt on by the end. Conversely, the lady eventually loses her shirt. Does "Coco Jamboo" translate into another language as "Shirtless Paradox"?

It's worth noting that this group hit it big after Macarena's success.

David Hasselhoff, "Crazy For You"

I love that much of the music in this song is the same as the Village People's "YMCA," and I can also appreciate that he's driving on curvy roads without wearing a helmet and that he's riding a roller coaster operated entirely by a wiener dog. It's those kinds of decisions that eventually lead to shirtlessly eating cheeseburgers while lying down on the floor.

Jet, "Last Chance"

As far as first albums/first songs go, this is a good one. There are a lot of songs on Jet's debut album that overshadow "Last Chance." But not many modern bands put out an album with a great first song like this:

Deee-Lite, "Groove Is In The Heart"

Every one of these outfits is a winner.

Arthur Conley, "Sweet Soul Music"

If you think this song sounds a lot like the music of Sam Cooke, that's because it is. But he recorded it after Sam passed away, and even though you can't replace someone like him--at least imitation is the sincerest form of flattery:

The Wurzels, "I Am A Cider Drinker"

These guys look like they have been deeply, deeply drinking their cider. And now that you've seen this video, you'll know how to prepare yourself if someone claiming to be a Wurzel offers you some cider.

Poison, "Every Rose Has Its Thorn"

This one is dedicated to tonight's Civil War--the annual meeting between the football teams of the University of Oregon and Oregon State University. It's always a heated rivalry, but this year it's bigger than ever because the winner goes to the Rose Bowl. And thus, every rose has its thorn.

As Poison shows us here, nothing comes easy--especially if it involves crawling on a stage in your Guess jeans or playing guitar in a sleeveless shirt:

Meat Loaf, "Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad"

Meat Loaf, like his delicious dinner namesake, is best enjoyed while watching "Fight Club" with a side of mashed potatoes.

Tony Orlando & Dawn, "Knock Three Times"

Knock four times if you're being held against your will in the attic.

Oh, and don't mind the scrolling words at the bottom of the screen; they go away pretty quickly so that you may go back to enjoying Tony Orlando's chest hair.

Survivor, "I Can't Hold Back"

This is an indescribably-good gem from Survivor's awesome 1984 album, "Vital Signs." I've already posted onto the blog "High On You"--another classic from the album. And expect more, since the songs are fantastic and the videos are cheesier than a block of Colby Jack. I wish I didn't love Survivor's music so much, but, predictably... I can't hold back.

Pink Floyd, "Another Brick In The Wall, Part II"

My school experiences were mostly better than this, even if these kids get pudding and get to sing some pretty cool rock music. Also, these kids seem to do more sledgehammering than I ever did.

Seals & Crofts, "Summer Breeze"

Around this time of the year, I start missing the summer breeze. Can you imagine the guy in the red pants in a summer breeze? I would imagine that with his shaggy hair, scraggly beard and wool cap, being in a summer breeze would get pretty itchy. Maybe he cools himself down in a summer rainstorm while wearing a fringed leather vest...

Dido, "Thank You"

Sure, it's the day after Thanksgiving, but I'm still giving thanks. So when you're elbowing someone in the neck to get your claws on a Black Friday "50% of all oven mitts" special before they do, just remember the kind words of Dido:

THANKSGIVING SPECIAL: "Thank You For Being A Friend"

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm thankful that you're here at Justin's List reading this blog! Have a happy holiday, and thanks again for stopping by!

George Harrison, "Got My Mind Set On You"

I loved this song growing up, but I never really knew who sang it. Then one day my wife explained that it was George Harrison of The Beatles, which I couldn't accept at first. It took a few days of denial, and eventually a few weeks to let it sink in, but now I enjoy it now more than ever before--even if the video is nothing but him dancing in front of a fireplace:

Mr. T, "Treat Your Momma Right"

Is there any better way to learn how to appropriately treat your mother and other people's mothers? If there is, I don't want to know about it.

Florence & The Machine, "Kiss With A Fist"

This takes "tough love" to a whole new--and musically awesome--level. They have some anger issues to work out, but if they're like any other good rock group, they'll just ignore all those issues and keep making great music:

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, "Down By The River"

Apparently they were having a sale on ponchos and fringed leather vests in Big Sur before this concert. And by the looks of the audience, it was clearly a "Buy two fringed leather vests, get a fistful of Woodstock brown acid" special:

Santana, "Oye Como Va"

This song always reminds of the scene in "The Big Lebowski" when they're driving and eating In & Out burgers in The Dude's windshield-less car...

Dennis Madalone, "America: We Stand As One"

What happens when a Hollywood stunt coordinator meets just enough people in the entertainment industry to put together a patriotic music video? This, America, is what happens.

Phoenix, "1901"

I'm obsessed with this group right now, and this song in particular. Never mind that they're Frenchmen--I'm willing to share Freedom Fries with these guys the next time they come to my town:

Leonard Nimoy, "Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins"

Boldly going where no man has gone before.

John Denver & The Muppets, "The Garden Song"

I spent some time this weekend tearing apart what's left of our garden in the front yard, getting it ready for the winter so that it's perfect in the spring.

I doubt our garden will have singing plants like the ones seen here. But it's probably better that way, since I would start to feel guilty about eating them if they actually sang...

The Seekers, "Georgy Girl"

I get the sense that the people in the audience came out to take a hike and watch birds, and this concert got in the way. The man and woman seen at 45 seconds into the video think they see a bald eagle through those binoculars, but really it's just The Seekers singing "Georgy Girl."

Dave Brubeck Quartet, "Take Five"

If my memory serves me correctly (which it only does a fraction of the time), this song was intended to be a drum solo; fortunately, that's pretty heavily featured in this video. But the song is probably better known for the saxophone melody, accompanied by the piano.

Having said all that, this video makes me want to (a) drink Old Fashioneds until I'm silly drunk and (b) be a professional percussionist.

James Taylor, "Fire & Rain"

James Taylor has had such a long and successful run, I forget that he was ever this young. But he created some of his best songs during this era. That is, after he kicked heroin out of his life and brought Carole King into it. And only James Taylor can get away with calling himself Sweet Baby James.

Stacy Hedger, Star Wars Theme

Is there anything more embarrassing than being up on a stage in '80s tights, dancing around and ducking invisible lasers?

Oh, yeah: The trumpet.

Jon Secada, "Just Another Day"

Judge me as you will: I unashamedly like this song. It's on my iPod, and I run to it. If it comes on the radio, I won't change the station. I know nothing else he's ever done, but this... I like.

Whitney Houston, "The Star Spangled Banner"

Thank you to all of America's veterans for serving our country.

Here's a great rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner," as sung by a pre-Bobby Brown/pre-coked out Whitney Houston at Super Bowl XXV in 1991 during the Gulf War.

Peter, Bjorn & John, "Young Folks"

I'm not shy about my love of all things Swedish: Ikea, meatballs, the Hep Stars, and the word "smorgasbord." Peter, Bjorn & John are definitely in the mix, and this is one of the biggest songs from their awesome 2006 album Writer's Block.

Full disclosure: I don't trust the man playing the bongos. Maybe he's Norwegian.

Loretta Lynn, "Fist City"

Fist City sounds like a pretty painful place to be. And that's exactly where those cartoon pigs wearing bikinis are headed, as long as they keep doing a chorus line in front of Loretta and her bacon backdrop.

Neil Young, "Heart Of Gold"

I've always felt like Neil Young performs like a caveman: Long scraggly hair hanging down, with his whole body hunched over the guitar and his knuckles dragging across it. But I think it's some of the best acoustic music ever written, and should I ever play a guitar, I'd do it the exact same way.

Nirvana, "Plateau"

I've always associated this song with Nirvana, even though it's by the Meat Puppets--who played with Nirvana in this performance. This song was on Nirvana's "MTV Unplugged In New York" album, released after Kurt Cobain's death, which made it all the more popular and intriguing. It's a great version of the tune, and what makes it better is that one of the guys is playing a red, white and blue Buck Owens-type accoustic guitar. The intro is a little long, but you get to see everyone setting up and Cobain introducing the Meat Puppets:

Doctor And The Medics, "Spirit In The Sky"

Why is this guy constantly climbing things--a ladder, a wall? I would imagine that someone who spends so much time on his eyebrows would want to save some energy and just take the elevator. Oh, and now the ladies are climbing invisible ladders. The next time I see this guy at a cocktail party, I'm gonna ask him if he's climbed any good ladders lately, just to see what he says. That'll get him good.

Gnarls Barkley, "Crazy"

There aren't many musical acts that can pull off a Star Wars-themed performance. I'm impressed with the Stormtroopers on lead guitar & bass, and especially Chewbacca... even though he's not actually playing the drums, he looks good behind a drum kit. May the force be with you as you enjoy this video!

LFO, "Summer Girls"

I was a DJ on the college radio station for a semester in college, and since I was one of the last people to sign up for a shift, I got the not-so-coveted 7 a.m. Monday morning slot. When I wasn't oversleeping it, my job was to show up and play the hottest songs at the time. I don't remember a lot of songs from the late 1990s because there's really no reason to.

Unfortunately, this was one of them. I think any song that mentions Macaulay Culkin's name without doing it ironically should raise suspicion right away. I'm not sure "Billy Shakespeare" would have approved of these lyrics, but had he known "Rich" wrote them, I think he'd understand.

William Shatner, "Rocket Man"

The word 'genius' gets tossed around a lot these days. But whoever created this video definitely earns the title. Three Shatners in one place at one time? Absolutely brilliant.

Thompson Twins, "Hold Me Now"

Is that Boy George on percussion? I swear, at one point it looks like he's playing a hair dryer. And I appreciate that at the end they give up pretending to play instruments and just clap for about a minute; it's like they ran out of their budget halfway through the filming and were like "Just get shots of us clapping... We don't have enough film left to continue shooting Boy George playing a giant marimba with comically-oversized mallets!"

Plain White T's, "Hate (I Really Don't Like You)"

I'm not a huge Plain White T's fan--but I feel like this song can work for a variety of purposes. So here's hoping that you can relate to these lyrics--no matter what the motivation is:

Mannheim Steamroller, "Monster Mash"

Dear Mannheim Steamroller,

You ruined Christmas music for me; why must you now ruin Halloween? I'll gladly give you five pieces of my most reasonably-priced Costco candy to take back this heinous version of the "Monster Mash" and have you focus your musical mangling on a holiday that means nothing to me. Perhaps Canada's Boxing Day? Can't you write a song for that instead?

Et cetera,

Justin's List

Spinal Tap, "Big Bottom"

Happy Friday--Turn up the volume to 11 and let 'er rip!

Tom Petty, "Free Fallin'"

Never mind why Tom Petty is singing on the roof at a teen girl's party--this video is a classic. I watched it nearly every day in 5th grade while getting ready for school. Maybe that's why I now spend my Saturdays wearing a fanny pack and neon spandex while riding my skateboard extra slow into the air. And it could explain why I like taking my guitar into the local mall and playing it up and down escalators.

My awesome past times aside, I'd like to thank Tom Petty for being a big part of what I can actually remember from 1989.

The Romantics, "Talking In Your Sleep"

I feel like this song is creepy is enough; the video certainly isn't helping anything. I would have honestly been less creeped out if it was just four minutes of a man singing to a sleeping woman at the foot of her bed. The first few minutes is like "Goonies" meets "Eyes Wide Shut"--and then the Marilyn Monroe look-alike takes it over the top...

Jan Terri, "Get Down Goblin"

Looking for something to really freak the kids out this Halloween? I think this video will do the trick--though it would practically be child abuse.

Do you see how horrified the werewolf is? He probably showed up to scare the crap out of some people, only to realize he ended up in a Jan Terri video. I can't imagine a more frightful fate... the skeleton seems to be the luckiest one of this bunch.

Whatever candy they're handing out here this year, it's not worth it, man. It's just not worth it.

Wolfmother, "Joker & The Thief"

Unfortunately, there aren't many modern bands who know how to rock out. Fortunately, Wolfmother is one of the few:

Joe Jackson, "Steppin' Out"

This Joe Jackson isn't to be confused with the father of The Jackson Five. So just in case you were wondering if it's the same Joe Jackson... it's not.

Harry Chapin, "Sniper"

Let's try an experiment: The next time you have a party, play this song--then see how many people stick around. It's a well-written ballad with a great performance, but in general, a 9+ minute ballad on the 1966 University of Texas massacre is kind of a downer.

I'll give extra credit points to anyone who can do a mash-up with this tune.

Matthew Wilder, "Break My Stride"

Is that a young Gene Shalit on vocals?

And what's up with the lady introducing the band mid-interlude? One thing's for sure: She definitely didn't break-uh their stride. When your band is full of people wearing swimsuits and silver pants, nothing breaks your stride. Nothing.

A big thanks to Steve for finding this one!

The Grass Roots, "Let's Live For Today"

I may be the last person to know this, but creepy Creed Bratton from "The Office" had a life before the show: Playing in The Grass Roots. I didn't think I could enjoy Creed much more than I already did, until I learned about this fact. It's especially nice to see a guitar solo from him at 1:48 in the video.

Creed Bratton, "The Office": "I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower... but you make more money as a leader."

Stevie Wonder, "For Once In My Life"

How is it that the blind guy is the best dancer up on stage?

U2, "I Will Follow"

Someone please give Bono something to play: A guitar, a tambourine... anything. The dancing is too much for me, and his eyes are creeping me out. Then you combine the kid, who's staring at us the whole time, and it's officially too much:

Fleetwood Mac, "Rhiannon"

Do you know why Fleetwood Mac was so good? Because they all hated each other at some point. Nothing motivates tension-filled songs better than inhaling lots of drugs and getting all divorced from each other. That, and lead guitarist Lindsay Buckingham is clearly wearing the hide of a dairy cow.

This one was recommended by Aaron--a dear friend and a loyal reader of the blog. One time we saw a man pass out in his own vomit at a Kansas/Styx concert. True story.

And now--Fleetwood Mac!

Tom Hanks & SNL, "Please Don't Cut My Testicles"

I think the request is pretty straightforward.

The Raconteurs, "Steady As She Goes"

The Copper Kid is my favorite because he's wise and has moxie. And because he's Jack White. It's mostly that he's Jack White.

Hues Corporation, "Rock The Boat"

At first glance, the name Hues Corporation suggests that maybe they sell something--boats, perhaps. But it's not really a corporation. After all, how could a corporation function if everyone is rocking the boat all the time? I'd like to know where they got that notion.

Now rock on with your bad self!

B.J. Thomas, "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head"

The rain has begun to fall in Portland. This video actually seems to accurately illustrate how people get through the rainy season: They put on a fringed velvet vest and sing in front of fake wooden landscaping, or they get a black umbrella and dance in a way that could easy poke someone's eye out. I don't think you could fill the Grand Canyon with all fringed velvet vests I'll need to make it to Spring.

Al Green, "Tired Of Being Alone"

One time in high school I was volunteering at a downtown Kansas City soup kitchen, and I had a conversation with a guy there about the Reverend Al Green and his awesome music and how it turned his life around. He's just the coolest. After all, who can't appreciate a man who asks a question like, "Why do you let it snow so much in Chicago?"

Another note: If I could find that tux online, I might be willing to sell a kidney for it.

New Kids On The Block, "Hangin' Tough"

This is dedicated to Autumn and to her new adventures!

Nu Shooz, "I Can't Wait"

Good luck getting this one out of your head today. A classic earworm.

It was actually in Sunday's episode of "The Cleveland Show," when he went enthusiastically went shopping for, of course, new shoes. And Nu Shooz is from Portland. So there's a whole bunch of info to place in the "Good To Know" file as you enjoy this tune!

Mama Cass, Mary Travers & Joni Mitchell, "I Shall Be Released"

Mama Cass was dressed up to be a birthday clown and was lured into singing with the understanding that there would be cake on the stage.

Truck singing "After The Love Is Gone"

When the video starts, I'm immediately creeped out by the talking truck. Then I get really sad hearing his story, and I feel bad. And then I see him singing, and I'm pretty creeped out again.

You might not go through the same range of emotion that I did, but I think everyone's asking: Who takes the time to personify an old big rig and make it sing an "Earth, Wind & Fire" tune?

Toto, "Africa"

It's like going on a safari to your heart.

The Tavares, "Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel"

I grew up listening to the "Saturday Night Fever" soundtrack on vinyl--so I'm a longtime fan of The Tavares. One of my college professors claims to have gotten the band back together while as a DJ in Boston. The story goes that he did one of those "Where Are They Now?" things, and someone said they knew how to get in touch with The Tavares, and he did, and they all got back together and started playing again. I think I was the only person in my class to know who The Tavares were.

Whatever the case, these angels are still among us, with their perfectly choreographed dancing and their strange music video stage props...

F.U.S.B.I., "Come On Back"

Look, I don't know who F.U.S.B.I. is--and I don't entirely know what's happening here or if this video is even real. But despite all that, one thing's for sure: It's the greatest Diet Pepsi-fueled love story ever told.

Bay City Rollers, "Keep On Dancing"

Honestly, who in the audience is cheering for this? I know it was a simpler time, but it wasn't that simple, was it?

Scorpions, "No One Like You"

Justin's List is back from a week-long vacation! A billion Disneyland churros and In & Out burgers have refreshed us as we strive to bring you the best of the best (and worst) music videos around.

Hopefully, you're up for a little prison adventure--since The Scorpions are going to bring us exactly that. This video starts off as a nicer version of "The Shawshank Redemption," including what appears to be a conjugal visit, and then a man with forks in his eyes goes and takes the whole thing to a new level of weirdness.

But is it all a dream? Our protagonist in his blue undies seems to know all the answers:

Justin's List Taking A Quick Break

Justin's List is taking a quick break while it's at Disneyland. Feel free to peruse the List for your favorite posted videos in the meantime! Thanks for stopping by!

Sincerely,

The very large staff of Justin's List

Bobbie Gentry, "Fancy"

They don't get much fancier than Bobbie Gentry.

Vampire Weekend, "Oxford Comma"

This video a complete Wes Anderson rip-off, but I still like the song.

NOTE: The above sentence contains an Oxford comma.

Paul Revere & The Raiders, "Indian Reservation"

I had some reservations about these guys, but it was all cool after the thorough Kenny Rogers intro:

RnbSmoove, "Nobody"

Have you ever worked with someone for awhile, only to realize they have a side talent that you never knew about? Sort of like how Dwight on "The Office" knows everything about beets, one of my co-workers knows all about beats, as in music! I just found out recently that Louis is a member of a musical group, and not only do they have a following here in America, but in Greece as well (in the video, he's the guy with more hair). So he's an internationally-acclaimed musician, a great videographer, and an awesome guy... a triple-threat!

Beastie Boys, "Sabotage"

If only such an adventurous, mustached world existed...

Kris Kross, "Jump"

When I was a kid, I loved this song so much that I would call the local Top 40 radio station--which was playing this sing at least once each hour--and request that they play it more often. I think I even wore about my Kris Kross tape (yes... tape).

This version is live on "In Living Color," another staple of the '90s. So put on your Hypercolor t-shirt and Zubaz pants, and crack open some Crystal Pepsi... It's Kris Kross time!

Dudley Moore & Christopher Cross, "Arthur's Theme (The Best That You Can Do)"

There's something about Dudley Moore in a tux behind a piano that really brings me a sense of ease.

There's something about Christopher Cross that makes me wonder who woke him up from his dorm room, where he must have been sleeping on Twinkie wrappers, to make him a multi-Grammy-winning artist and the recipient of an Oscar. Couldn't they have at least shaved him? He's the only artist in Grammy history to win the "Big Four" awards in one year. This, from a man who looks he could walk off stage and start his night shift at the AM/PM down the street.

Whatever the case, it's actually a pretty catchy tune. So kudos to him for that. Maybe he can bring over some of those Twinkies and we'll watch "Arthur" and have a few beers and a few laughs.

Supertramp, "The Logical Song"

There's nothing logical about all the facial hair in this video.

Mr. Mister, "Broken Wings"

Oh, the complex emotions that come from Mr. Mister. And nothing explains these emotions like a dehydrating drive in the desert illustrated in black and white video. This guy is always thirsty! That's what happens when you hastily throw a map away: You end up parched. He could use a spray bottle... a mister, perhaps.

Matchbox Twenty, "Time After Time"

You know who's cooler than Cyndi Lauper? No one. But Matchbox Twenty covering "Time After Time" is a nice nod to a music pioneer. And any girl in the audience who wasn't crying during this performance is actually a man.

Oak Ridge Boys, "Elvira"

I saw these guys play in Branson one time when I was a kid. I was clearly too young to know what I was getting myself into.

Doesn't the lead singer look like a poor man's John Oates? And if the man in the red is mining for gold, he's not going to find any up on that stage.

Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes, "(I've Had) The Time Of My Life"

This one goes out to Patrick Swayze. Because nobody puts Baby in a corner.

Sweet, "Love Is Like Oxygen"

I'm sure getting high on "love" explains why the lead singer is dressed the way he is and why he's tossing that microphone around. Or maybe they're all actually getting high on all that fake stage fog. Regardless, I've always been a big fan of this song, even if it looks like it's being sung by a disco version of Randy Quaid:

Simon & Garfunkel, "Sound Of Silence"

I just finished re-watching "The Graduate," so I'm once again reminded of how awesome that movie is--and a lot of the goodness comes from the music of Simon & Garfunkel, especially "Sound of Silence." The entire opening of the movie is basically a single unedited shot of Dustin Hoffman in the airport with this song playing. Classic movie moment.

And this version is live from the Monterey Pop Festival, the godfather of all live music festivals, so these guys are at their finest. Enjoy!

Gordon Lightfoot, "The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald"

I badly want Britney Spears to do a remake of this song. Can you even imagine? On some level, I feel like Gordon Lightfoot needs more street cred; but at the same time, I think he's right where he needs to be with his image and music. I don't think a 6+ minute song on a ship sinking is for everyone, nor should it be. But then again, we all sat through "Titanic," didn't we? All I'm asking, Britney, is: Will you think about it?

Whatever the case, enjoy this classic Lightfoot tune--including some historical video for your educational pleasure:

Animotion, "Obsession"

I was following along pretty well until the robot starting writhing around in the bed:

Queen, "Under Pressure"

Finally, third time's a charm in our quest to see Keane live. We saw them live Wednesday night, and they were awesome. As part of their encore, they sang "Under Pressure," a Queen classic. So here's the original, also in a live performance:

Keane, "Somewhere Only We Know"

When it comes to Keane, we're hoping the third time is a charm. The first time we bought tickets to see them, the lead singer went into rehab; the second time, before we even bought tickets for a concert at the Hollywood Bowl, we ended up moving to Oregon.

But we have tickets now and we're going to see them tonight. So let's hope alien warlords don't abduct the band before they take the stage. Because that would be bad for the band and bad for us...

Fat Boy Slim, "Weapon Of Choice"

If Christopher Walken could really be a weapon of choice, I think he would be nunchucks. Just a gut feeling.

Donna Summer, "She Works Hard For The Money"

Happy Labor Day! If you happen to be working today, please make sure you don't work so hard that you: (a) reject the assistance of Donna Summer, (b) delicately and longingly caress a photo of yourself in a leotard, and/or (c) take your rage out on the rest of society by organizing an '80s-style street-dancing flash mob. Deal with your problems like the rest of us: Washing down a fistfull of Xanax with a Red Bull.

St. Vincent, "Marrow"

When I watch Annie Clark of St. Vincent, I see a cute and mousy musician whose body has been possessed by a rock and roll demon. Like a demon that you need a young priest/old priest/"The power of Christ compels you" to get out of there. But demon-possessed or not, she rocks it, and with her awesome backup band, it makes for good TV:

The Ramones, "Blitzkrieg Bop"

As you're traveling over the Labor Day weekend, give a nod to the Griswold family by playing this song during your adventures. It'll be more meaningful if you're traveling from Chicago and you end up on the wrong side of St. Louis. But if not, enjoy it anyway!

"Soul Train" Line Dance to "Love Train" by The O'Jays

Every second of this video is absolutely awesome in every way.

The Doobie Brothers, "Listen To The Music"

I went through a huge Doobie Brothers phase as I was graduating from high school. In fact, a few hours before I walked the stage, I bought "Best of the Doobies." I still have it. Great album.

But let me make something very clear: The Doobs had a very awesome moment in time without Michael McDonald. I don't ever need to hear "It Keeps You Runnin'" or "Takin' It To The Streets" again.

Fortunately, "Listen To The Music" predates McDonald. So here's the Doobs, and all of their hair, playing this classic tune:

Lynn Anderson, "Rose Garden"

There's no thornier or prettier rose than Lynn Anderson:

Starship, "We Built This City"

Never mind the irony that Starship built a city on rock and roll in a song that barely counts as rock and roll. It's the irony that makes it such a great song:

The Mamas & The Papas, "Monday, Monday"

Looks like someone dropped acid and got a little adventurous with the props. Maybe a case of the Mondays...?

Queen, "Fat Bottomed Girls"

I sometimes forget how great of a rock tune this is. The drums, the guitar, Freddy Mercury... it all mixes so well together. I think it's one of Queen's more overshadowed tunes, which might have something to do with lyrics like "lardy ladies" and "heap big woman" not exactly being politically correct.

But having said that, in trying to find a term that parsimoniously describes Queen's love for someone like "big fat Fanny," I ran across a fascinating write-up on "feederism." Enjoy that.

Now get on your bikes and ride!

Bob Marley & The Wailers, "No Woman No Cry"

I feel like Bob Marley is good Saturday music. So enjoy some Bob Marley!

Neil Sedaka, "Calendar Girl"

My two favorite ladies: Miss August--who, like August itself, is a hot mess--and Miss December, who looks like she had a little trouble getting out of the box the first time around:

Tommy Tutone, "867-5309/Jenny"

Some highlights: The bassist wearing a leopard-skin outfit; the mustache on the keyboardist; the lead singer having fun in his red shoes. And near the end of the song, in case you don't have the number memorized, the singer starts flashing the numbers on his hands. Don't call us--we'll call you, Tommy Tutone!

Funky Fresh Senior Choir, Various Hip Hop Songs

Who says old people can't sing hip hop? This video, that's who. But at least they're trying, and that's gotta count for something. One thing's for sure: You're not going to catch them ridin' dirty.