Michael Bolton's School Of Michael Bolton

The kids slowly appear to be learning the most important lesson of all: You can't sing better than Michael Bolton.

Though, the best part is that Michael Bolton's School Of Michael Bolton appears to be an abandoned DMV building.

"Somebody Kill Me" from "The Wedding Singer"

As long as I'm currently obsessed with The Cure, I might as well post the funniest song inspired by them:

The Cure, "Lovesong"

I forgot how much I enjoy The Cure, and the lack of sun here in Portland is drawing me closer to them.

Robert Smith looks scary as hell here, like Heath Ledger in "The Dark Knight" and/or Edward Scissorhands, aged about 20 years.  But you know what: His voice is still amazing, and I like this version more than the original.  I can't stop watching it, and I think this song gets better as Smith gets older.

Gary Coleman & Dion Mial, "The Outlaw & The Indian"

RIP Gary Coleman, 1968-2010

Barnes & Barnes, "Fish Heads"

Let's make one thing clear: This song is entirely about fish heads.  No idea why it takes more than two minutes to get to the action, but nevertheless, when it does, it delivers fish heads.

Dr. Hook, "Baby Makes Her Blue Jeans Talk"

With all the lechery going on here, I'm not sure the lady in the blue jeans should be as happy as she looks.  Most of these people turning their heads look like they're legally obligated to register on Megan's List, and that's not including the man with the eye patch who she keeps at arm's length the whole video.  Nothing shows off a sweet moneymaker like a pirate walking next to it.

Also, the dog and the blind man are a nice touch.

Eurythmics, "Here Comes The Rain Again"

Every year, the weather in Portland pulls a fast one on me.  I make it through winter, and I'm feeling good. Spring rolls around, things warm up... it's all awesome.  And then--what's this?--ohhh, it's winter again.  That's when the seasonal depression kicks in.  Because just when I was ready to throw on some shorts and frighten the neighborhood kids with my grossly-thin, pasty white legs... it's back to jeans.  Vitamin D pills are my new BFF.

So here's a Eurythmics vid, featuring a death-black sky, to cheer up the mood.  If watching Annie Lennox being stalked won't make you feel better, then what will? (Vitamin D pills, actually).

Survivor, "I Can't Hold Back"

Sure, I've posted this song before.  But the wife and I were watching "Paul Blart: Mall Cop" the other day and this song is heavily featured in the movie.  And I always get sentimental when anything from Survivor's album Vital Signs gets some airtime.

Side note: If you know anyone selling a Vital Signs tour t-shirt, please let me know immediately.

Also, is anyone checking out this keyboard player?  You're my boy, Blue!

Paula Abdul, "Opposites Attract"

Does it creep anyone else out that Paula Abdul is being romantically pursued by a cartoon cat--and the fact that she seems pretty into it?  FYI, his name is M.C. Skat Kat, and I don't like him any more now than I did back in 1989.

Rolling Stones, "Far Away Eyes"

I appreciate the nod to Bakersfield and the use of the slide guitar, but I'm kind of creeped out by Mick Jagger's facial expressions.  And drummer Charlie Watts--who I've always thought is strange on some level--looks eerily like Sling Blade here.

Eric Clapton, "Layla"

I have a lot of respect for Clapton and his talent, but I can't think of many more than a handful of songs of his that I really like.  But oddly enough, his performances later in life are some of my favorites, including this acoustic version of "Layla."

Armi ja Danny, "I Wanna Love You Tender"

America can get people to the moon, but only Finland can make them dance like this.

Rodrigo y Gabriela, "Diablo Rojo"

There's no better way to transition back from a classical music post to mainstream music than by sharing something from Rodrigo y Gabriela, a musical duo that uses every inch of the guitar.  It's usually exhausting for me to put a CD into my computer and press the play button, so I admire people who have this kind of awesome energy to make music like this. ¡Muy caliente!

Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov, "Cappricio espagnol"

How's this for a curveball?  That's right, this is classical music, and you'll enjoy the whole lot of it.

"Cappricio espagnol" is one of my favorite classic music pieces--even if it's conducted here by a sweaty, bug-eyed man holding a toothpick.

Franz Ferdinand, "Take Me Out"

I'm a big fan of the drumming in this song.  It seems like the drums really sell the whole tune.  All around good tune, though.

Van Morrison, "Moondance"

I wish Van Morrison could have been here for this performance.

What's going on here... is he sleep-singing?  I honestly had to do a quick internet search to double-verify that he's not blind, because he seems blind here.  (FYI, he's not blind.)

The Swell Season, "When Your Mind's Made Up"

This song is from "Once," from a great part in the film.  My wife and I have seen this group live twice, and we even had a chance to meet them (they're very nice).  So if you haven't seen "Once" yet, you definitely should.

Yes, "Roundabout"

Lay back in your fringed leather vest, pop open a Hamm's, and enjoy some Yes.  There's plenty of time to soak this one in, more than eight minutes of it.

The guitarists seem like the heroes here--but the real champ is the heavily-sequined keyboardist.  Not just because of the sequins, but the keyboard parts are awesome.

Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings, "100 Days, 100 Nights"

If this sound is familiar, it's probably due to the Dap-Kings, who also played behind Amy Winehouse on her popular album Back to Black--including the hugely popular songs "Rehab" and "You Know I'm No Good."  So, yeah, they get around in a great way.

But that's not to discount Sharon Jones--who definitely rocks it in her own way.  And you've gotta love the faux-vintage video.  Good stuff all around.

Styx, "Too Much Time On My Hands"

Justin here.

Can you believe it's been one year since the first post?  We here at Justin's List didn't even know at the time that Styx was too lame to make their "Too Much Time On My Hands" video embeddable, and that's why we supplied a link to the video--which is equally lame.

But what a difference a year makes.  The internet has realized that mega-powerful blogs like this one are the reason obscure videos get so much attention.  You're welcome, A&M Records.  The world is a better place now that we all can see Tommy Shaw in a turquoise jumpsuit.

Honestly, though, thanks for all of the awesome support you've given to the blog in the past year.  We've received a lot of feedback--most of it sober--and we appreciate all the wisdom to help us have another great year.

For now, remember: It's not a party until Samantha Sang and Jan Terri show up.

The Cars, "You're All I've Got Tonight"

My favorite song from The Cars, an odd-looking bunch.

Lena Horne on "Sesame Street"

RIP, Lena Horne, 1917-2010

Herman's Hermits, "I'm Into Something Good"

Doesn't this seem like it was filmed for a movie?  It's almost too good of a video for that era.  But when your lead singer can sing and clap, I suppose you get the top shelf treatment.

Fall Out Boy, "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race"

I like Fall Out Boy better as a concept.  With song titles like "I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You)" and "I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song)," I feel like the music doesn't match the high quality of cleverness.   Maybe I'll just quietly enjoy the song titles.


Whatever the case, this song's actually pretty good.

Quasi, "Little White Horse"

When a horse fights a bear, everyone wins.

Toto, "Rosanna"

The soft rockiest back-alley showdown you'll ever see.

Bonnie Tyler, "Total Eclipse Of The Heart"

Bonnie Tyler's secret to seeming forlorn: Thin curtains blowing in the wind.  And ninjas.

The Doors, "Touch Me"

I love the music of The Doors, and most of that is thanks to Ray Manzarek.  The end of this song is the bee's knees.  Also, did anyone else notice the guitarist's black eye?

Tammy Wynette, "Stand By Your Man"

This sounds like every diner I've ever been in.  I'm suddenly craving a patty melt.

Mini Daddy, "El Nino Mas Bonito"

Marathon update: I finished the race without pooing myself.  So there's that.  I finished with a time of 3:58:57, my second best time--so I'm a happy camper.  I can't really walk today, but it's worth it.

Meanwhile, here's Mini Daddy.  As adorable as Mini Daddy is, I still wouldn't want to run into him in a back alley.  Es pequeño, sí, pero parece fuerte.

Gnarls Barkley, "Run (I'm A Natural Disaster)"

I'm running the Eugene Marathon on Sunday--so this will be my theme song.  I'm hoping it'll help me run 26.2 miles without pooing myself.

Pat Benatar, "Love Is A Battlefield"

Consider this "The Hurt Locker" of the human heart.