Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "Maps"

It's not very often that you get to see someone cry in a music video.  Lead singer Karen O looks torn up from the start, so it's inevitable that she'll break down at some point--but she still comes off as a badass, the video is beautiful in its simplicity, and it's an awesome song.

Ricky Martin, "Livin' La Vida Loca"

Ricky Martin announced on Monday that he's gay.  When I heard that, I was glad to hear that he still existed.  Didn't know if he was still alive or what.  So, good to know.

But it was a reminder of how big this song was back in 1999, during the Latin music invasion in America.  It's not a great song, but still has its place in music history.

Peter Schilling, "Major Tom"

This is a catchy tune, even if it's a re-do of David Bowie's "Space Oddity," including a rip-off of E.T.

Ashford & Simpson, "Solid"

"Solid" is about the only way to describe this '80s masterpiece.  If you don't believe me, just ask all the park-going riff-raff featured in this video.

Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes, "If You Don't Know Me By Now"

Are these guys wearing cod pieces?

OK Go, "This Too Shall Pass"

Kind of a fun song, and the video is mesmerizing--if I weren't as lazy as I am, I might try to build one of these massive contraptions. But as it is, it's just a lot easier to watch these guys do it.

Tom Wilson, "Biff's Question Song"

Where we're going, we don't need roads--We need more hilarious Biff!

Japanese Learning Song, "Diarrhea"

What's with wearing skimpy dance outfits to this song? It's hard to hide Depends underneath those bikini bottoms. And they'll find that dancing like this during a painful bout of diarrhea will only make things worse.

Also, this could easily pass for a Japanese version of the Macarena--the dance and lyrics are practically the same.

Robert Palmer, "Bad Case Of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor)"

Now that the health-care reform bill has been passed by Congress, perhaps this bad case of loving can be more easily treated...?

Weather Girls, "It's Raining Men"

The staff at Justin's List is refreshed and back to work after a few days of no new posts; we were reconfiguring our business model and retooling the prestigious video-selection process (i.e., we were skiing with friends).

But we predict that you'll enjoy this forecast from the Weather Girls--which is steamy, with a 100% chance of being sassy.

Baltimora, "Tarzan Boy"

I kind of feel like someone made a video out of a paint-by-number painting after putting it into a Nintendo game.

Bad English, "When I See You Smile"

Seeing hairdos and leather vests like these are what make me smile.

Eduard Khil, "Trololo"

My favorite part was went he went "Lolo lo lolo lo lolo lo." For two and a half minutes.

Crystal Gale, "Carolina In My Mind"

Is she wearing a Hypercolor shirt? I wore Hypercolor in middle school and was ridiculed for years--but maybe if my shirt had featured a singing Crystal Gale, maybe that would've helped me out. Probably not.

Kenny Loggins, "Footloose"

The Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon start with Kenny Loggins.

Sandra, "I'll Never Be Maria Magdalena"

Sandra, you'll never be anything unless the camera is in focus. We have evidence that she can be in focus--so maybe they quietly recorded this while the camera guy was on a smoke break...?

The Four Tops on "Sesame Street"

Maybe I wouldn't jaywalk so much if I had seen this as a kid. Although, to be fair, listening to music like this makes me want to dance in the street--so now we're back to where we started, aren't we?

Klaus Nomi, "Lightning Strikes"

Grab your umbrella, because a Klaus Nomi thunderstorm is quickly approaching: Expect heavy downpours of ridiculous falsettos. I'm also sensing that this Nomi system has had a strong force on the Lady Gaga weather pattern--which can create feelings of nausea and upset stomach if endured for more than one to two minutes.

Martini Ranch, "Reach"

Kathryn Bigelow may be the first woman to ever win an Oscar for Best Director--but that's nothing next to the milestone that was her performance in this video. And what makes it even more fabulous is that her ex-husband, James Cameron--also familiar with our friend Oscar--directed this masterpiece. But the real icing on the cake here is Bill Paxton's so-white-you-can-see-then-from-outer-space-at-night teeth.

Whatever you have in your planner for the next 7 minutes and 40 seconds--go ahead and push it aside for this gem:

Miles Davis, "All Blues"

I quote from the 1995 movie "Billy Madison": "If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis."

I think we can all pee our pants to that.

Biz Markie, "Just A Friend"

Biz Markie may not be the best singer around, and the white wig isn't doing any one any favors--but he gives some pretty airtight advice. It's a painful lesson for him to have learned, but perhaps now we're all the wiser after watching this. Plus, it makes for a pretty nifty tune.

Aerosmith, "Dream On"

I know it's not exactly a compliment to tell a band "I'm a fan of your early work," but I still think one of Aerosmith's best songs is "Dream On"--one of their first hit. It helped establish them as a rock & roll force, so I'm sure they won't mind the acknowledgement:

Sugar Ray, "Every Morning"

You know, this isn't so bad. Between the years of, oh, 1997 and 2004, I hated pretty much everything that was on the radio (with exceptions, of course--Natalie Imbruglia, I'm looking your way, guilt-free). But I never minded this, even though I should have: it tries a little too hard to be cool, the lead singer's hair has frosted tips--and how many of these guys really need goatees?

Pffft. I still like it--maybe even more now that the same singer isn't afraid to be caught on cam at Walmart.

Neil Diamond, "Holly Holy"

Does it get any better than Neil Diamond in 1971? There's a reason he's known as The Jewish Elvis: Because that's exactly what he is. Do you see that hair? The man is majestic.

Sergio Mendes, "Mas Que Nada"

If I could go back in time, to any era of history, I might just end up going back to 1966 and be the tambourine player in this video. Forget the American Revolution, dinosaurs, the Romans... I'm playing tropical music!

Lou Reed & Luciano Pavarotti, "Perfect Day"

I like "Perfect Day" a lot. It seems off, but in an awesome way. It's simple. So then adding Pavarotti to a live performance is pretty much the exact opposite of all that. It's almost awkward. But whatever--it's different, and that counts for something:

Grizzly Bear, "Knife"

Is it just me, or does everyone have this kind of experience on Spring Break? Those were some good times, man... some good times.

New Seekers, "I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing"

I associate this song with the classic Coke commercial. And I enjoy holding onto that memory, since this version of the song makes me want to claw my eyes out. On the Coke commercial, it's only a minute long, and it works. Here it's more than twice as long--for a song that's basically the same thing over and over.

We get it, New Seekers, you're teaching the world to sing: And we've all learned the lesson. Now give yourself permission to put down the instruments, and go crack open an ice cold, refreshing Coca Cola.