Starship, "We Built This City"

Never mind the irony that Starship built a city on rock and roll in a song that barely counts as rock and roll. It's the irony that makes it such a great song:

The Mamas & The Papas, "Monday, Monday"

Looks like someone dropped acid and got a little adventurous with the props. Maybe a case of the Mondays...?

Queen, "Fat Bottomed Girls"

I sometimes forget how great of a rock tune this is. The drums, the guitar, Freddy Mercury... it all mixes so well together. I think it's one of Queen's more overshadowed tunes, which might have something to do with lyrics like "lardy ladies" and "heap big woman" not exactly being politically correct.

But having said that, in trying to find a term that parsimoniously describes Queen's love for someone like "big fat Fanny," I ran across a fascinating write-up on "feederism." Enjoy that.

Now get on your bikes and ride!

Bob Marley & The Wailers, "No Woman No Cry"

I feel like Bob Marley is good Saturday music. So enjoy some Bob Marley!

Neil Sedaka, "Calendar Girl"

My two favorite ladies: Miss August--who, like August itself, is a hot mess--and Miss December, who looks like she had a little trouble getting out of the box the first time around:

Tommy Tutone, "867-5309/Jenny"

Some highlights: The bassist wearing a leopard-skin outfit; the mustache on the keyboardist; the lead singer having fun in his red shoes. And near the end of the song, in case you don't have the number memorized, the singer starts flashing the numbers on his hands. Don't call us--we'll call you, Tommy Tutone!

Funky Fresh Senior Choir, Various Hip Hop Songs

Who says old people can't sing hip hop? This video, that's who. But at least they're trying, and that's gotta count for something. One thing's for sure: You're not going to catch them ridin' dirty.

Creedence Clearwater Revival, "Down On The Corner"

I'm suspicious of the following things:

• The man playing the washboard: I'm not convinced he's not a vagrant crashing this performance.
• The mustached man playing a string. A single string. And he needs a glove to do it.
• There's no drummer, but I hear drums.

But my suspicions aside, CCR is a dapper-looking group. As they have requested, if i had a nickel, I would lay my money down for them:

Plain White T's, "Hate (I Really Don't Like You)"

I'm not a huge Plain White T's fan--but I feel like this song can work for a variety of purposes. So here's hoping that you can relate to these lyrics--no matter what the subject is:

R.B. Greaves, "Take A Letter Maria"

Just making sure I've got everything straight here: R.B. asks out his secretary with the same tape recorder on which he divorces his wife. And he does it all in song. And then the tape recorder catches fire.

Well, it's a bit of a stretch--but with the jacket he's wearing, I think he'll find a way to make it all work:

Gladys Knight & The Pips, "Midnight Train To Georgia"

It's hard to find a song that has devotion like this: "I'd rather live in his world than live without him in mine." Maybe that's why The Pips are dancing in front of so many picture frames in this video? Who knows. But here's a classic tune performed in a classic 1973 style:

Dudley Moore & Christopher Cross, "Arthur's Theme (The Best That You Can Do"

There's something about Dudley Moore in a tux behind a piano that really brings me a sense of ease.

There's something about Christopher Cross that makes me wonder who woke him up from his dorm room, where he must have been sleeping on Twinkie wrappers, to make him a multi-Grammy-winning artist and the recipient of an Oscar. Couldn't they have at least shaved him? He's the only artist in Grammy history to win the "Big Four" awards in one year. This, from a man who looks he could walk off stage and start his night shift at the AM/PM down the street.

Whatever the case, it's actually a pretty catchy tune. So kudos to him for that. Maybe he can bring over some of those Twinkies and we'll watch "Arthur" and have a few beers and a few laughs.

Arthur Brown, "Fire"

The crazy is obvious here: It's a man in face paint dancing around singing about fire. But what's up with the pilgrim on guitar? How about the Sith Lord playing the drums?

By the way, this one's for Paul: a great guy and a budding arsonist.

David Bowie & Mick Jagger, "Dancing In The Street"

As if Bowie & Jagger doing a version together of "Dancing In The Street" wasn't abysmal enough (see picture below, where they're clearly dry-heaving at one another), they're introduced here as a "surprise" by Paul McCartney, and then they all unfortunately perform it live together.

My co-worker Alison recommended the Bowie/Jagger version of the song, knowing just how bad it is. I give her kudos for this because I had repressed it and forgot it existed. I'm almost afraid it's like watching the deadly video from the movie "The Ring"; if I get a phone call and it's a child telling me "seven days," I'll know why.

Englebert Humperdinck, "A Man Without Love"

When you look up 'suave' in the dictionary, it simply says: Englebert Humperdinck. (Also see: Mutton Chops)

Boney M., "Boonoonoonoos/Medley"

Unless Boney M. just ran to this live performance from a knife fight, there's no reason he should be dressed this way. Maybe he's just trying to stay cool up there on his aluminum foil stage?

Buck Owens & The Buckaroos, "Act Naturally"

Buck Owens was one of country music's finest artists. "Act Naturally" was one of his biggest hits, which was later covered by The Beatles. He was also a big part of the show "Hee Haw." He later admitted that he felt like he "prostituted" himself by being on the show.

But he shouldn't have been so hard on himself; after all, I think he was manipulated by the winking cartoon donkey. If you don't believe me--check out how much Buck winks at the beginning of this video. I don't think it's a coincidence.

Barry White, "Love's Theme"

It's sort of like watching Mozart conduct a symphony--if Mozart were a huge black man.

Peter, Paul & Mary, "If I Had A Hammer"

I don't go to church on Sundays any more, so folk music is the closest thing I have. And Peter, Paul & Mary are the bee's knees of folk music. So here's one of their best songs for a lovely summer Sunday morning:

Peggy Lee, "Fever"

If the fever she speaks of involves mysterious fingers snapping and ominous rolling fog, I'm not sure I want to catch it. And it's not like the kind of fever that more cowbell can fix; we're talking fistfuls of powerful antibiotics, people. I can deal with the fog--but those arms with the snapping fingers can't be trusted.

Sade, "Smooth Operator"

I'm overwhelmed by all the smooth operating going on here. I'm not sure what kind of operation is happening exactly, since it involves number-crunching, wearing sunglasses inside a nightclub, and a man blowing a kiss. But it's nothing if not one thing: Smooth.

Roy Orbison, "You Got It"

I'm pretty close to finishing a 4+ hour documentary called "Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers: Runnin' Down A Dream." It's taken me weeks to chip away at this thing, but I'm finally nearing the end. That's not to say that it's been a daunting task; it's a great movie. And it's interesting to see the influence of Tom Petty in classic rock.

One of the things I didn't know was that Petty and Jeff Lynne--lead singer of ELO--wrote "You Got It" for Roy Orbison, a fellow member of the supergroup Traveling Wilburys. I loved the tune growing up, and I remember that Orbison passed away not long after recording it, which kind of freaked me out as a kid. But it's a great tune, and I like it even more now that I know about all the people who made it happen:

MORE COWBELL: Vixen, "How Much Love"

The question isn't "how much love," but rather: "How Much Hair." The hair is huge to begin with, but do we really need all that air blowing it around it? We're dangerously close to a hairnado here, people.

Vixen was recommended by my rad co-worker, Lisa. The minute that she saw these ladies, she knew they'd be welcome on Justin's List. And a bonus feature: It all starts off with a cowbell.

Do you feel a warm & sassy breeze? If so... that's Vixen:

Leo Sayer, "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing"

This video starts off as a Leo vs. Leo sing-off. But wait: In comes a third Leo. Just when you can't get enough of him, at about one minute in, he makes himself feel like "dancing." I use that term loosely because his dance moves involve only the motor skills required to knead dough. And when the song comes to an end, he leaves in the same way he began: In the glow of an unnecessarily-bright light:

Orleans, "Dance With Me"

What's great about this video is not just that they fit three people into the frame at once, but that chose to do it with these three people. They're like the Three Wise Men, but they come bearing the gift of '70s hair (and what an abundant gift it is):

Curtis Mayfield, "Superfly"

You know who's superfly? Curtis Mayfield. Only a falsetto like that can create music this good:

MODERN MARVEL: Dan Black, "Symphonies"

I learned about Dan Black earlier this week from--of all places--a Twitter tweet that Justin Timberlake sent out. And after watching it, I can't figure out which I like more: the song or the video. But I think they're both great, and hopefully you'll agree:

Simple Minds, "Don't You (Forget About Me)"

RIP John Hughes. Good night, sweet prince.

"Don't mess with the bull, young man... you'll get the horns."

Bread, "Make It With You" + Bread: Make It With You

There are two videos here:

1. Bread, "Make It With You"--If you don't know the music of Bread, then you're missing out. Essentially, it's baby-making music. You could make a lot of sweet, sweet bread listening to it.

2. Bread: Make It With You--I title this on behalf of the very enthusiastic bread maker in this video, who looks like he wants to make sweet, sweet bread with everyone.

Blood, Sweat & Tears, "Spinning Wheel"

The first thing I noticed when watching this video is how lead singer David Clayton-Thomas had sort of an Oompa-Loompa look happening. But then we see a shot of him in his leather suit and turtleneck, and that's when the magic begins. Then we see the rest of the band, and they're just as dapper:

Tom Jones, "Help Yourself"

Something tells me these people have been helping themselves a little too much:

Hep Stars, "Bald Headed Woman"

The Hep Stars are the coolest thing to come out of Sweden since Ikea:

Blitzen Trapper, "Furr"

"Norman... The loons! THE LOONS!" (That's a shoutout to all of the "On Golden Pond" fans)

Anyway, there aren't many songs that feature loon calls, and that's why I like Blitzen Trapper. They actually have a pretty diverse catalog, and this is one of their more rustic tunes.

So here's a live performance of the title track from their latest album, "Furr":

Survivor, "High On You"

In an age when bands were smoking or sniffing pretty much anything to get high, Survivor was only using one thing: Lust. And judging from this video, it seems possible to OD on lust; that's the only reasonable explanation behind lyrics like "higher than a kite" and "such complete intoxication." Nevertheless, it's a great song from a great album (Vital Signs), and you'll be seeing more Survivor in the future.

Oh, yes... you will.