Lorde's "Royals" Is Really About Cows and Why San Franciscans Don't Like It

The Royals made the playoffs this year for the first time in 29 years. Take a moment to let that soak in: Someone born during the 1985 World Series has no memory of the Royals going to the playoffs, and neither do their children. For years, we have endured a tradition of Kansas City baseball being downright awful; talented players quickly left, and ours was the team that other teams could look to easily beat in September as they marched toward the playoffs.

But not this year. We haven't lost a playoff game yet. And whether or not the Royals win four out of the next seven games, we're still in the World Series. That's huge. And because of how big it is, no one can stop talking about it. The streets of Kansas City are practically overflowing with champagne and BBQ sauce, with Royals fans floating down the river of hope surrounded by Boulevard Wheat and Arthur Bryant's ribs and various other beef items. This is heaven as we know it, as we've imagined it for nearly three decades. Three. Decades.

So, we need a song to match this excitement. The natural fit is Royals by Lorde, and it appears that now is the time. Here's a quick history on the Royals, the song, and why it's upsetting Californians.

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1969 
The Royals are born. They're named after KC's rich history of cows and cow-related activities.

(source: Wall Street Journal)

1983

The Pine Tar Incident occurs while the Royals are playing the Yankees. Fans lose their minds. George Brett instantly makes MLB history and folklore.

1985

The Royals win the World Series. Fans lose their minds again.

1986-2013

Nothing. Nothing happens. The Royals don't make the World Series, let alone the playoffs.  Some of your favorite baseball players played here and then immediately left.  Not to say that the Royals were terrible, but an evening game at Kauffman Stadium made for a pretty cheap date.

JUNE 2013

A teenage New Zealand singer-songwriter named Lorde releases a song called "Royals". Everyone in the world loses their minds. It's about how she'll never be rich or live a lavish lifestyle.

The song makes her millions of dollars.

NOVEMBER 2013

Inexplicably, it is revealed that Lorde came up with the title of her song after seeing a picture of George Brett with "Royals" on his jersey from 1976. 

Again, it's worth a reminder that she's a teenager. From New Zealand. Born 11 years after the Royals last made the playoffs. Born 20 years after this picture was taken.

This is a true story.

(Source: National Geographic)

APRIL 2014

George Brett and Lorde meet. This is glorious.

SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2014

The Royals earn a spot to the playoffs for the first time in 29 years. They win the wildcard game in Kansas City against the Oakland Athletics, and they've been winning ever since. They get to the World Series. KC has lost its mind.

LAST WEEKEND

Some radio stations in San Francisco -- whose Giants will be playing in the World Series against the Royals -- refuse to play Lorde's "Royals" so as not to encourage the Royals, and definitely not because the song has been playing every hour on the hour for the past 14 months regardless of how a baseball team has been performing.

TODAY

A radio station in Kansas City plans to play "Royals" every hour to support the Royals, and not necessarily because it's an incredibly popular song that has been playing every hour for the past 14 months regardless of how a baseball team has been performing.

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So there it is. The cows that inspired a team that inspired a city that inspired a song that inspired the world, including the city that inspired it, and made another city very angry.

GO ROYALS!

"Do You Feel Like We Do", Peter Frampton

The tale of the talk box and its captives

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It's always whilst I'm listening to the radio that I hear "Do You Feel Like We Do".  I never really mean to, but I'm always reminded of just how amazing it is.

Frampton is a great guitarist, but in relation to all things old and new on the radio, he's never my first choice with classic rock; in my mind, he has a few great hits, and that's about it.  So I never really have this song in my rotation -- and that's why it always enthralls me when I hear it.

The song, from Frampton's landmark 1976 live album Frampton Comes Alive!, is nearly 14 minutes of pure bliss.  First and foremost, the fact that it's live is why it's so amazing. Without being live, it's a few minutes long and I'll expect to maybe hear it overhead at a Denny's, at best.  But because he has a captive audience, he strives absolutely to be excellent.

***

"Do You Feel Like We Do" starts off like any other tune, and again, Frampton could have wrapped up at the four minute mark, put a bow on it, and moved along. But he doesn't do that -- instead, he whips out the "talk box".

For those who don't know what the talk box is, it's like singing through a drive thru speaker via a tube in your mouth. In Frampton's case, it's like a beam of sunshine from heaven with little rock and roll cherubs flying out all over the place.  And you call tell that the audience is absolutely loving it.  And when I listen to it, I LOVE IT. Like the way I love bacon or kickball: With pure, unabashed, gluttonous indulgence.  Not just the song, but the talk box and the audience together. Again, without the audience, it doesn't work; and without the talk box, it's just another live song.  So you have five minutes of a crowd whose collective mind is blown away but this musical robot of a man talking to them though his guitar.  The man's guitar SPEAKS. It actually TALKS TO THE AUDIENCE.  He's just jamming up there, and his guitar is asking them "Do you feel like I do?" in a way that they've never heard before. And the answer is precious: Not only do they feel like he does, but they can't believe what they're hearing. He's playing off it, toying with them -- like teasing a dog with a treat... but in this case, the treat is the teasing.

Then, in an instant, Frampton immediately stops toying around with the talk box and explodes into one of the best guitar solos in rock and roll history. And then, it's done.

***

So I'll be driving down the road, switching stations, and I'll hear "Do You Feel Like We Do" -- and I'll do what it takes to listen to the finish.  If I finally get to Target and there are still seven minutes left in the song, I'll find the furthest spot in the parking lot, and I'll rock out to it with the same unfettered excitement that I can only imagine they did in 1976.  I can only imagine that I feel -- and will always feel -- like they do.

Editor's Note: I've seen Frampton live twice -- and both times, I felt like they did.

LISTEN TO "DO YOU FEEL LIKE WE DO"

Top 10 Albums of 2012

It's that time of year again for the Top 10 Best Albums!  Despite everything that "This Christmas" by John Travolta/Olivia Newton-John stands for, the world did not -- in fact -- end as predicted by the Mayan calendar.  So, we forge ahead.  

And in that spirit: 2012's best albums.

TEN

THE LION'S ROAR - FIRST AID KIT

You know by now that I'm a sucker for the Swedes.  But they're not on the list because I'm a Swedophile; they're here because their music is as delicious as an Ikea meatball. Think of the Fleet Foxes, then make them Swedish women and - boom! - you have First Aid Kit.  What else do you really need?

 

NINE
BARCHORDS - BAHAMAS

Don't feel badly if you haven't heard of Toronto guitarist/singer/songwriter Afie Jurvanen, known as Bahamas.  You may have seen him traveling with Feist or Wilco, but this is actually his second solo effort.  On Barchords, his voice has a smooth sandpaper quality, and each song packs a slightly different punch.

EIGHT
HERE - EDWARD SHARPE AND THE MAGNETIC ZEROS
Was this recorded in 1968?  This album is a trip, in more ways than one. This group -- totaling two shy of a dozen, by the way -- manages to conjure up dreamy images reminiscent of the Woodstock era. Be sure to enjoy... but don't eat the brown acid!





SEVEN
BABEL - MUMFORD AND SONS
These guys kicked the door down with their 2009 album, Sigh No More, making a hard one to top. Babel sounds more mature; it may not contain many anthem songs or Top 40 hits, but it's a clearer picture of the band's talents and roots.





SIX
LOCKED DOWN - DR. JOHN

What happens when you put together the scorching-hot Dan Auerbach of the Black Keys together with an older New Orleans rock legend?  Magic! It's akin to when Jack White and Loretta Lynn teamed up in 2004 on Van Lear Rose.  On Locked Down, you feel like you're strolling along Bourbon Street in New Orleans -- unsure whether to grab a mint julep or run for your life.  The only slow song ("My Children, My Angels") is almost at the end of the album, and even then, it's got a groovy undercurrent. These guys have a voodoo witch doctor working in their favor.

FIVE
BOYS AND GIRLS - ALABAMA SHAKES
It's hard to believe this is a debut album. I think they're a shoo-in for the Grammy for Best New Artist -- with good reason.  I expect them to be on many more of these lists in the future.





FOUR

THE IDLER WHEEL IS WISER THAN THE DRIVER OF THE SCREW AND WHIPPING CORDS WILL SERVE YOU MORE THAN ROPES WILL EVER DO - FIONA APPLE

How about that for a title? And it's perfect -- because it's hard to know what to expect here: A fight, a nervous breakdown, a parade?  But it's that kind of anticipation and discord that makes it such a great album.

THREE

SOME NIGHTS - FUN.

Any top 40 radio station in the past three months could be described as: "'Some Nights' and probably some other stuff."  But there's a lot more to this album, which is filled to the brim with bitterness, angst, and hopefulness.  And, as a side note, the keyboardist is an avid fan of Weird Al Yankovic -- so what's not to love here?  It's the rare combo of talent, smarts, and catchiness that helps this album transcend most other pop music this year.





TWO
WRECKING BALL - BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN

Is there anyone more American than Bruce Springsteen?  Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, The Boss encourages us to roll up our sleeves and get through this recession together. And what better example of "We Take Care Of Our Own" than his support of New Jersey and New York during Hurricane Sandy?  Someone like Springsteen could have checked out a long time ago, but it's clear just how much he loves what he does and where he does it.  It's hard to judge each album as something new; it's too tempting to compare it to the rest of his works, to see where he's been and where he's headed.  But in that vein, this will stand alone as one of his great albums and a snapshot of a moment in time when we needed someone like him to pull us all together.





ONE

BLUNDERBUSS - JACK WHITE 
There's a documentary called "It Might Get Loud" -- and if you haven't seen it yet, then you should.  It begins with Jack White hastily making a crude guitar out of basic household objects on the porch of a home.  He does so swiftly and in full concentration, wearing a vest, bow tie and a hat. Cows graze in the grass behind him. 

Once built, he briefly plays the one-string guitar, picks up a cigarette and asks the camera guy "Who says you need to buy a guitar?"  

It's classic Jack White on so many levels.  He is, all in one living being, the history and the future of rock and roll.  So it should be with no surprise that his debut solo album post-White Stripes is my pick for the best album of the year.

Blunderbuss is full of the kind of innovation that we've all come to expect from him.  "Love Interruption" is one of the album's best songs, with White dueling on vocals with Ruby Amanfu.  Title track "Blunderbuss" seems to have an influence from White's current surroundings in Nashville, "Sixteen Saltines" is straight-up rock and roll, and "Take Me With You When You Go" is a blend between the two styles.

It's no wonder why Jack White was picked to join two rock legends in "It Might Get Loud": He's already achieved so much, but he has so much left to explore. 






OTHER RECOMMENDED READINGS:

-Rolling Stone's 50 Best Albums of 2012


-Paste Magazine's 50 Best Albums of 2012

-American Songwriter's 20 Albums We Can't Wait To Hear in 2013